Accountability

Let's get serious for a moment here...do you all remember Blog Post #1? Where I explained why I was doing this? No? That's okay, I can't blame you for not remembering. It was 52 posts ago, and probably not very exciting, haha.
To reiterate, the reason I write this blog is so that I hold myself more accountable for the things I'm eating. Somehow it has worked, although I am not sure what it is exactly that makes it work. Realizing that a (very) few people are aware of how "good" or "bad" I am being with my diet maybe...the public embarrassment factor if I'm "bad." That's one theory.
Anywho....I have realized something in the past couple of weeks. While I am eating so much more responsibly, and I am exercising more than I ever have in my life; I am not what I would consider "healthy." "But, wait!" you may say, "You've just admitted to being healthy!" No, no, my friends. That is not what I have said at all. Let me explain:

A smart diet and exercise are essential to having a healthy body. And while I am improving overall in this arena, I am still a long way from having the healthy body I need/want. But that is okay, at least we know I am working my butt off (literally, ha) for it.
My concern today though, is my emotional and, to a lesser degree, spiritual health. Why am I suddenly so caught up on this? Why, because of Pixie of course. I love her more than life itself, and all I want is for her to never ever ever doubt that. For her to know, always, that she is loved, and supported, and can come to us for anything. That being said...she will be 2 years old in two weeks. And she's in that (apparently normal, I'm assured) stage where she gets very frustrated, very easily. Something doesn't work the way she feels it should, or gets stuck, or she's simply not getting her way; and she loses her little mind. She flops to the floor and cries/whines, she screams, she hits and (very very rarely) bites. Keep in mind, this child is normally so low-key, nothing gets to her. So this abrupt shift in personality is disconcerting for everyone. Logically, I know that this is normal. She doesn't know anything about controlling her emotions yet, and she can only express herself at various extremes. Logically. 
Emotionally....I'm having a harder time dealing. That is very hard to admit. It actually breaks my heart a little bit to admit it. I want to teach Pixie that it is okay to be upset, that she can express that in ways other than fits. I want to teach her to talk about why she is mad, or sad, or about why that thing isn't working. I have read some very helpful articles, and talked to a few people about methods that work for them in this situation. And yet I still find myself (more often than not) snapping at her, "Stop it!" "You have nothing to be upset about!" "What's the problem?!" I don't yell...but the tone isn't friendly either; it is very abrupt. The fact that I have said those things to my precious, beloved, innocent child, makes me want to weep. Not clean, quiet little tears; body wracking, sobbing, mascara all over your face, weeping. That may seem a bit extreme to some, but for me it doesn't. Not with the amount of absolute love I feel for that little person. And the very last thing I want her to have any memories of, is of me treating her that way.
So....how do I plan to fix this? With the same approach I have taken to losing weight and being physically healthier (since that has proven itself so far)...by holding myself more accountable for my actions towards her (and even towards my Hubby for that matter).
Therefore, every day I will include a blurb in my post about how I'm keeping positive, how Pixie and I connected or had fun, tips and tricks for being a supportive parent of a toddler; something along those lines, you get it. If any of you have suggestions, I am always more than happy to hear them as well!
My first goal is to think before I speak to her. To gauge if what is going to come out of my mouth will be a supportive statement vs. a sharp admonition. To consider how I want to address a tantrum, without snapping something out. I will let you know how I progress.

Since I am definitely being food accountable, I better move on to this evening's meal:
Avocados were on sale this last week. And these are monster avocados! About twice the size of a usual avocado...so of course I bought a whole bunch! Now I just have to eat them all before they go bad...which really isn't such a hardship. I put some on my salad the other night, I made one into guac for lunch, and tonight I'm using them with chicken.

Avocado Chicken Parmigiana
Ingredients:
2 chicken breast fillets, halved lengthwise
1/2 C coconut or garbanzo flour
2 Tbsp milk (I used coconut milk tonight)
2 eggs
1 1/2 C dried breadcrumbs (you can substitute crushed walnuts or almond if the little bit of carbs scares you)
2 Tbsp olive oil
1/2 C tomato pasta sauce (you can use canned, I usually make my own)
2 avocados, sliced
1/2 C mozzarella cheese, shredded

Directions:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
Line baking sheet with foil or parchment paper.
Place chicken breast in a clear plastic bag(or between two sheets of plastic wrap), using a rolling pin or meat mallet pound until 0.5cm thick.
Place flour and breadcrumbs on two separate plates, season with salt and pepper, lightly whisk milk and egg together in a shallow bowl.
Coat 1 piece of chicken breast in flour, dip in egg mixture then coat in breadcrumbs, pressing to secure.
Place on prepared baking tray & repeat the same process with the remaining chicken breasts.
Lightly spray or brush the prepared chicken with oil, bake for 8 minutes, turning halfway through (4 minutes each side)
Remove from oven and spread each chicken breast with 1 heaped tablespoon of pasta sauce. Arrange avocado slices over sauce and sprinkle with decent amount of mozzarella cheese.
Return to oven and bake for another 5 - 7 minutes or until golden and chicken is cooked through.
 
You could eat this as is, or serve with salad. Even over pasta if you're not Paleo.